Bent but never broken; down but never out.” ~Annetta Ribken
I lived for a long time thinking I was broken beyond repair.
Let me rephrase: I thought I was unloved, unworthy, scared, and broken. What a package, right?
But all of these feelings made me strong. It helps to re-find myself. Discover a new ME.
- 1 What is mindset?
- 2 What is the importance of mindset?
- 3 Why Mindset is Important or matters in Life?
- 4 What are types of Mindsets?
- 5 Case Study
- 6 The lesson that I learned from my attempts which I like to share with you all are –
- 7 In our history, there are many lessons that we learned
- 8 How to Develop a Positive Mindset?
What is mindset?
Mindset is your belief that defines your character, your success, and your point of view that how you see anything. It affects your thinking, feeling, and behavior.
Mindset can help you to recover from any difficulties.
In this article, SUCCESSISDECISION will help you to understand the importance of mindset.
What is the importance of mindset?
Mindset is the base for any success that you want to achieve in your life. It is a very crucial factor in the development of a person. Mindset not only helps in learning new things but it changes our perspective see things.
Our thinking ability is enhanced. For Example, if we see a problem like a mountain we will never be able to solve it. But if we have a positive mindset then we think that every problem comes to make us learn new things and makes us strong and every problem comes with a solution.
- It helps to overcome fear and Doubts.
- It helps to develop our thinking ability.
- It develops a Positive Thinking.
- It helps in Self-Development.
- It helps to believe in our own abilities.
- It develops Patience and Focus which are the most important weapons for success,
- It helps in achieving our goals.
Why Mindset is Important or matters in Life?
Our ability is measured when we fall into a problem. This is the time when our qualities are measured that how we handle such problems.
- We start losing hopes
- We start losing self-confidence,
- We are not confident enough about what we are doing,
- We start questioning our abilities and decisions,
- We start feeling demotivated,
So, to tackle these problems a Mindset plays an important role. It not only solves these problems but develops a good and positive personality.
What are types of Mindsets?
Basically, Mindset depends on thinking and it is of two types –
1. Fixed Mindset
When a person thinks his/her abilities are limited and can’t be increased. When a person does not believe in efforts, he/she is dependent on talent and intelligence, then it Fixed Mindset.
In a fixed mindset, a person has only two perspectives either he/she will fail or win. There is no scope for trying or hard work. In this, the person believes in smart work rather than hard work.
Example – If I don’t try I will not fail.
2. Growth Mindset
In Growth, a Mindset person is never dependent on just talent but they work hard to learn new things. They keep evolving, They don’t think that everyone can become Einstine but they think that with hard work and focus it is possible to become smart and intelligent like them.
Example – I will fail only when I stop trying.
There was a time I thought I was not able to live life as I Live before. I will not be able to stand by my expectations. I will give up on my dreams. I was shattered. At that time I thought I was broken and I will never be able to recollect all my broken pieces.
But I was wrong. After giving myself some time to myself, I finally get to know myself. I understand my capabilities, my worthiness, my strong areas, and also my weakness. I understand how to overcome failures.
At that time I also realize that I don’t need anyone to hold me, I am enough for me. I only need myself to re-live. I also came to know that I do not need to collect broken pieces of myself. Because I was not broken I just bent.
Everyone has different circumstances in their life. Each circumstance helps to build a new you. Helps you to understand your worthiness and your capabilities. Every circumstance gives you a lesson. It’s up to you what lesson you learn from it.
If I share my personal opinion I started preparing for civil services just after my graduation in the year 2017. In 2018 I gave my first prelims. I will you with no guidance no test series. I am not even able to complete my prelims paper.
I realize my mistakes. I started preparing again for 2019. But this year I was able to complete my paper but didn’t able to qualify prelims cutoff.
I was very disappointed with myself. As UPSC has given limited attempts to general category. I started feeling burdened. After giving some time to myself and to do things that I love and am not able to do because of my preparation.
I again start preparing for my 2020 attempt. But by the time COVID-19 has already shaken the world and also my preparation. Coaching classes starts taking classes online, mocks were also done online. As online classes have their disadvantages.
In my previous 2 attempts, I always cleared my second Csat paper. So I partially devoted more time to prelims paper 1 only.
As I changed my mindset UPSC has also changed its mindset. In 2020 I qualify the prelims paper but failed the CSAT paper. At first, I feel ashamed of myself. But when I explore I got to know there are so many people like me. They also qualify prelims cutoff but failed in CSAT.
I thought I will never be able to clear my civil services. I will never be able to be an IAS officer. After some time I again started preparing for the 2021 prelims. Now this time I have enough guidance, and a large experience with UPSC paper patterns because of the past 3 failed attempts.
In 2021 I cleared prelims with a very good margin. I gave my first mains. I am halfway towards my goals and ambitions. Right now I am waiting for the mains result. But ya I am confident enough that I am at least able to qualify for prelims. If I can qualify prelims with such a good margin. I will also be able to qualify the main paper also.
- Never give up attitude, Always find your weakness and strong areas. Every you failed you learn a new lesson. It’s up to you if you remember those lessons in your next attempt or not.
- In short, we should know our past mistakes. It will help you to be future-ready.
- If you fail again and again. Take some rest and rejuvenate yourself.
- Be with positive people. Your friends and family have a huge role in your success. If you have good friends and family they will motivate you to do things that u are scared of.
- Explore yourself. Your pastime interest and hobbies.
- Do things that scare you.
- Talk to your elder ones they will guide you to a new path or help to find you a new you.
- Go out on a holiday. There are so many of us who feel burdened and often take some devastating decisions in our life. It may be love life, school life failures, office pressure, or personal issues.
One needs to understand that everyone has different capacities. Everyone has some different role to play in their life. Not every single person can become Prime Minister. Not every single person can clear the civil services exam. But it’s up to us that we don’t give up trying hard and hard every single time.
A person who understands this will also understand how precious our life is. If we gave up or take some serious steps like suicide, hatred towards govt, violence, etc. This will not help you to achieve your dreams. This will not make you closer to your ambitions.
You have to keep yourself positive. You have to work on yourself in your weak areas. You have to understand that this failure will only bend you but not broke you.
In our history, there are many lessons that we learned
All give you the same moral that you are bent not broken. You have to keep working towards your goals. If Gandhiji gave in their early failures of the khilafat movement, and civil disobedience movements, He will not able to reach the Dandi March. He will not able to launch Quit India Movement.
He realized very soon that all these will take time. He has to keep working hard. Even if some of the movements failed to catch up with the expectations level it will only bend him towards his goal of India’s Independence but not broke him or shook him.
And as we all knew the rest. His efforts help India to be independent of others but also many other countries in South Asia, Southeast Asia but also many African countries.
Today his birthday is celebrated as non-violence day. He has respected almost every country. He is appreciated for his non-violence ideas. If he had given up on his early failures he will never get the respect that he receives today. It is his mindset that helps him to do things.
It’s not only the mindset but also the belief in yourself, confidence that one needs to do things that he/she thought will not be able to do.
Like in relationships also if someone is betrayed, broken, or been cheated on. They thought their life has been stopped. He/she keeps hoping for the things which can’t be happening. And this wrong hope breaks you even more. In these types of situations, one should talk to their dear ones.
They can help you and make you realize that you are not alone. Every human once in a lifetime gets betrayed or been cheated by their near and dear one. But it’s on you how you behave and react to this.
At times people isolate themselves, not talking to anybody about the things happening in their life. Do not disclose any of their emotions which he/she going through. In the end, these emotions make you feel disheartened, disloyal, and embraced. But you need to realize that it’s not your fault, the fault is in them.
They betrayed you, cheated you. It’s their mistake, not yours. So why would you keep the baggage of burden on yourself? If then you took a positive stand and make yourself realize that it’s not your fault. The mistake is not in you, it’s in them.
Yes, I know it’s very easy to say all of these. But the truth is if you don’t find yourself worth no one will ever will. You may feel hurt, and burdened but all these are bends in your life that help you to get up and straighten again. after some time It makes you realize that you’re just bent for some time but not broken.
How to Develop a Positive Mindset?
- Never chase the person who left you alone when you need them the most,
- Talk to your near and dear one. Ask them for advice,
- Give yourself some time to heal,
- Do things that make you happy,
- Realize your worth. Make them appreciate your absence,
- Focus on your future, your goals, and your dream,
- Starts chasing your ambitions,
- Be a better version of yourself,
- Go for a holiday and explore new places,
- Talk about your emotions and feeling which you have been feeling with your close one,
- Make new friends,
- Starts doing exercise, meditation, and yoga. It makes you feel fit and confident,
- Join some new classes it may be of music, dance, art and craft and so on,
- Start writing it will help you to feel less burdened. If you let go away your emotions you will feel light.
Choose your peace at any cost. Because your happiness is your duty not of someone else. People are often confused about their different personalities. When they are at their low they feel burdened, broken. But that’s not true. We at times feel low because of our expectations. The less we have expectations the more we are happy in today’s world.
We should always remember that in our life everyone has a different role. Some help to be better but some are there to make you feel low. The people who make you feel low also have a huge role to play in your life. You just don’t listen to their negativity. You just need to prove them wrong with your success.
Always remember that every feeling gives you a new wave in your life. But you have to decide whether you want to stay there or just be with the wave and roam around. You just need to be a little careful about whom you can trust or whom you can.
You just keep yourself high and never bow down to anyone it may be a person, material thing, or even your goals. You will not sacrifice yourself for others. At times you may think of giving up but remember you may bend for a while and get up straight soon.
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